The Beauty of "No"

Hana has entered the "no" phase vibrantly and with great seriousness and purpose. A verbal "no" just simply won't do. Nor is the rebellion reserved only for situations in which there is truly reason to rebel (such as putting on a diaper - life in diapers can't be very much fun, so I understand the resistance there). The opposition is fierce, physical, and universal to pretty much anything I suggest.

I have developed multiple strategies for fostering Hana's newly discovered independence, while also keeping things generally within the boundaries of what constitutes respectable behavior for an almost 2-year-old. They don't always work, nor do I always apply them with consistency. What can I say? I'm not perfect, and it's exhausting! Sometimes, when I'm just plain *done*, I resort to shameless bribery with things I never thought I would offer as rewards for positive behaviors - TV (in the form of youtube) and ice cream. Beaker from the Muppets singing Ode to Joy (which she calls the "mi mi mi" video) and Gonzo leading a chorus of chickens (which she calls the "bok bok" video) are two all-time favorites.

Despite the daily power struggles, it is fascinating and rewarding to see Hana's personality continue to evolve and express itself. She throws herself wholeheartedly into the moment if something tickles her fancy, and then with the blink of an eye, she's on to the next thing. She is firmly committed to learning exactly how the world works, if for no other reason than she can then try to turn it upside down. I've been teaching her that "The street is only for cars. The sidewalk is for people." I know she understands this and she can explain it back to me in her own words. Now that she comprehends that this is how things work, it serves as a springboard for dashing off into the street in defiance of the rules. (Fortunately, the "street" is the cul de sac near my building, so it's not dangerous.) She knows that food stays on the plate and that she needs to sit or kneel while she eats, and therefore in her eyes this is grounds for running amok with food in mouth and ensuring that food is evenly distributed within a 2-foot radius around the plate. She is an experimenter, an entrepreneur, and a comedian all in one.

Then there is this other side of her that is oh so sweet. She is incredibly empathetic and concerned when someone else is sad or hurt. Even when she is in her "no" mood and I am therefore unable to get a hug and a kiss from her, if I say "Mommy is sad" she'll come running over and give me a big hug and sometimes ask "You OK Mommy?" or "Feel better Mommy?" She's utterly polite, with her bless yous, pleases, sorries, and thank yous, and on occasion "thank you very much."

On another note, Hana started "pre" pre-school today - a toddler program at a local preschool. Pete took her this afternoon and the report was she LOVED it. Had an absolute blast. She was so wound up and excited by it that she had trouble falling asleep tonight. Next step: researching actual preschools to start sometime in the next year.